How important is communication style when choosing a spouse?
Last reviewed:
Direct answer
Communication style matters because ordinary marriage decisions require disagreement, explanation and repair. Longitudinal research finds that satisfied couples often communicate more positively, but the direction runs both ways: good communication can support satisfaction, and existing satisfaction can make communication easier. A useful assessment therefore looks beyond whether conversation feels smooth during courtship. More revealing signs include listening without ridicule, answering difficult questions directly, tolerating a pause, admitting mistakes and returning to unresolved issues without threats, silence or public humiliation.
Sources used
Does Couples’ Communication Predict Marital Satisfaction, or Does Marital Satisfaction Predict Communication?
Journal of Marriage and Family, indexed by PubMed
Longitudinal newlywed study showing that communication and satisfaction are related, but neither direction is a simple or dominant cause.View sourceLongitudinal prediction of marital discord from premarital expressions of affect
Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, indexed by PubMed
Longitudinal study linking premarital disengagement and communication patterns with later marital satisfaction.View source