How important is conflict-resolution style in long-term relationships?
Last reviewed:
Direct answer
Conflict style is important because long relationships cannot avoid disagreements; they can only handle them well or badly. Longitudinal studies link premarital disengagement and hostile patterns with poorer later satisfaction, although communication is not the sole cause of marital outcomes. Productive conflict keeps the issue specific, avoids contempt and threats, allows a pause without abandonment, and returns to seek a workable decision. Repeated intimidation, punishment, surveillance or violence is not a communication-style mismatch and should not be normalized as something better technique can repair.
Sources used
Longitudinal prediction of marital discord from premarital expressions of affect
Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, indexed by PubMed
Longitudinal study linking premarital disengagement and communication patterns with later marital satisfaction.View sourceDoes Couples’ Communication Predict Marital Satisfaction, or Does Marital Satisfaction Predict Communication?
Journal of Marriage and Family, indexed by PubMed
Longitudinal newlywed study showing that communication and satisfaction are related, but neither direction is a simple or dominant cause.View source